21.
Never before, thus far, in all of my living days I can remember that I experience so many deaths, very unfortunately, in one year as life as it is.
This year,
2009.
As a matter of fact, I never had any experience, close to a funeral or a death. There was only one time I had needed to attend one. She was my paternal side's aunt. She was at the age 40 plus. She was born with a handicapped IQ, in otherwords she was slow. She was never married n lived all her life up to her death with her mom, my grandmother. She even had speech difficulties. She died after slippin on wet floor, subsequently hittin her head on a hard surface back in 2006. I was still doin my time serving the national service. It was January if I recollect precisely.
And so I did not have a chance to go. Nor I could have had that chance to get to know her better even at her funeral. Because I never really knew her.
Earlier this year, I had a messy draggin on and off break up with a girl Ive ever been closest to than nyone else. When I tot nothin could go worse than that.
My beloved n dearest Grandmother, the only valid grandmother I only had in fact, passed away. Along wif my grandfather whom I nvr reali had a close level with as well as with my little cousin brother.He was 12. Theyre all my maternal relatives. They died in a car crash in March. They died in a car crash. The least deserved way to go for a pair of 70 years old.
I was needless to say devastated n I stil am now. I took compassionate leave from skool n attended the funeral that even got to da local chinese papers. During da whole time n also the aftermath days of their death I can only remember well the song FIX YOU by Coldplay playin in the back of my head.
Then I got to know months later in July that Ck's grandmother got in to a critical condition after lodgin into a hospital. He flew back wif Sukyee, his gf , amidst their birthday trip for Ck in Bali to see her. I said hard in my prayers to God during dat time that my friend wudn hav to go thru wat i had during da last 4 months. She left them eventually. I was there at his grandmas funeral as well. It was on the eve of Ck's birthday.
Now not long ago Pris was crying callin me one night tellin me her aunt was diagnosed with a cancer. Shes having chemo at the moment so we're all hopin da best for her still. I personally know her aunt bcoz Ive been back to her hometown alot and Ive always been aware that she has alwyas been like a second mom to pris. Besides that, I am a friend of her daughter as well.
On the night Kerry sent me the text sayin her beloved sister passed away peacefully. Hours into that incident I got a news from a fren that another fren of mine, Kwong Yik is not makin it to our bbq party bcoz his grandmother passed away on da same day.
Tonight, as I type in these letters, I am stil very much reeling from the impact of my grandmother's death 6 months ago, 9th of march. 09/03. Everynow n then whenever my playlist plays Fix You either on my itunes or my ipod. I stil do get tears jerked out to an extent. I was very close with my grandmother.
The last words from her durin da lunchmeal she and I had and when I walked down the steps outside the restaurant while i held her hands in mine stil echoes out loud. I stil remember It was only two of us at that time.
I understand the need to hav a shoulder and da yearn to put our weight on sumones else shoulder. and da moment to just cry on someone ur close to, like a fren. I know all da better, from my own accord during my grandparents n cousins funeral. I knew da weighing of da heaviness.
By saying this, her sister's death has affected me on a personal level. It inevitably brings back all da memories of my grandmas death. Too detailed to b honest. The heavy flow of emotions it brings itself together with reali kills at times. I really really feel for Kerry. Ive been thinkin bout her alot .
Sometimes, it seems like there are no words that can help in times of loss and grief. And although most of the time even everysingle thing we do may not ease the pain of the family members, still, we try to comfort the mourner and ourselves.
During the sad time following a funeral, these inspirational death quotes and quotations on mourning, loss and grief may help you console mourners and the soul of the ones who have passed away, in anyway that they can.
"there will be a time when all of the pieces will fit together and we will understand the reason of the pain"
"you have to find a place to put the pain, a philosophy, words of comfort, positive action.
Givin charity and a mitzvah, in the name of the one who has died, can elevate the soul of the departed. "
Have faith that things will turn out for the better in the future that we will be able to get thru this difficult and torrid time. That we will be able to discern all that has happened. That she is in a better place in the arms of God right now. HE is taking her in his stride and in every leap of faith. that for every single mishap, there is a condolence in disguise. Waiting to take place, or even happened without us realisin it. Or it is already takin placce.
keep the faith.
"Take the 1st step in faith, You do not have to see the wholestaircase. Just take the 1st step now"
Me and the rest of the friends just donwanna lose that cheerful always and funny fren we had known for so long. Hope to see you soon again.
We're always here for you my friend. Ever ready to offer ears and shoulders with arms wide open. And to offer love.
We love you.
And we mourn together with you in this time of grief.
, R.I.P.
In loving memory of her.
